I've attempted this blog at least 3 times. Maybe this will be the one that sticks? If you're following me in any capacity, you may already know that I am finishing up year two of homeschool with my third (about to be fourth)grader. Olivia just turned nine a few weeks ago and already I can see a tremendous difference: the territory for jokes with her dad has changed quite a bit over the last year; she is more modest; she thinks I am wrong about everything(!) and being with friends, singing, dancing and riding bikes are a daily mandatory ritual. I envy nine.
In this year, I have learned alot. My Heavenly Father has been faithful to show me that my ways are not His ways. I have had to learn about respecting Olivia instead of just expecting from her. I am still working on this--it's a daily experience, actually. This morning, we struggled through another set of my expectations as it relates to the BIG testing that we have upcoming. In our state, it is required that we test every three years and as God would have it- it's our time to do so. We have been performing practice tests to prepare for our BIG test. Olivia has a tendency to skim over, complete quickly and miss alot. This said, when we go back through, take our time and review all options- she gets them right EVERY SINGLE TIME. Argh!
It's frustrating. I am trying to utilize this wisdom of God's called "self-control." I am a novice. We manage though. Somehow, despite my bad behavior, her strong will and our dynamic...we manage to end the day with love, one for another. Anything good that comes of this is of God, that is the truth and He should receive the glory. I thank Him for the ability to rest in Him- amen!
I am sure I am not the only parent that wonders if everything they do is messing up their child? It's a lie. I know. In my time today I had to pray that God would see me through my arrogant self. It's funny how much control I think I have only to be rebuked in it. God changes a heart, God draws us in, God prepares the soil, God provides the increase. Who am I? I am the one given to her to encourage seeking Him. She is the gift given to me- just to enjoy. All I can do is wonder if I am doing it right? Will my inabilities be detrimental to her? I know the promise of the Word though and will put my faith there. If not in the moment the thought is occurring, shortly thereafter. I pray that one one day I will just do it in response, rather than under protest or after the fact. In Jesus Name :).
So, here I am again, same as when I left. Pondering moments past, those to come and forgetting to appreciate what is right before my eyes. Now that I've come to the end of this post, I think I may just go try to live in this moment, off the manna of today and hope for the unseen, in fervent belief!
Be blessed, talk atcha soon!
In His Love
No comments:
Post a Comment